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My Cards Will Go On/Transcript
Cast (In order of appearance): Yami, Yugi, Joey, Serenity, Tristan, Téa, Kemo, Guard, Mai, Rex, Weevil, Pegasus Date: July 18, 2006 Running Time: 4:33 Transcript Intro YAMI: I'm not actually in this episode... has anyone seen my agent? On top of the school, dusk YUGI (thinking): Well, Grandpa's a drooling vegetable. And now, thanks to Pegasus, he's lost his soul too. I've just gotta save him. But first, I should probably figure out how to get down from here. Hello? A little help here? Anybody? Joey's room JOEY: Hey, it's another video! I wonder if Pegasus wants my soul too? He puts the video in the player SERENITY (on the video): What's up big brother? JOEY: It's my sister who sounds nothin' like me! SERENITY: The doctors have been so busy trying to figure out why my voice is so high-pitched, they've neglected to treat my eyesight! So I'm going blind. Well, seeya later! ..or not.. JOEY: I guess my soul ain't good enough for Pegasus. At school the next day YUGI: I've decided to accept Pegasus' invitation and travel to his private island where I'll be completely at his mercy. It's a shame rich megalomaniacs are immune from the law, otherwise we could just call the police! JOEY: Cash sure does do terrible things to people. It's like the old saying goes: Money is the root of all- TRISTAN: Hey look! This tournament has a prize of three million dollars! JOEY: Cha-ching! Duelist Kingdom, here I come! Outside YUGI: Hey Joey, remember the time we became friends? JOEY: Yeah. Flashback YUGI: Give me back my Millennium Puzzle you big dickweeds! Waaaah! JOEY and TRISTAN: We're tormenting you! End flashback YUGI: Actually Joey, I was talking about the part after that. JOEY: Oh.. oh yeah, now I remember! Flashback YUGI: I mean it guys, give it back! JOEY and TRISTAN: We're still tormenting you! End flashback JOEY: Man, good times! YUGI: No Joey, I mean the time when I saved you from that bully! JOEY: Huh.. no.. no, I don't remember that.. YUGI: But I was all heroic and stuff! JOEY: Hey, remember the time me and Tristan took your Millennium Puzzle? Flashback YUGI: Waaaahahahaaah! JOEY and TRISTAN: Torment! End flashback YUGI: Remind me why we're friends again? At the boat for Duelist Kingdom KEMO: Attention Duelists! My hair is telling you that it's time for you to board! Anyone caught without a crazy hairstyle will NOT be permitted to enter the Duelist Kingdom! JOEY: (Being held by guards) Hey! But my hair's all blonde and poofy! GUARD: Sorry sir, but it needs to be at least twice the size of your head for it to count. YUGI: He's with me. GUARD: Wow! Your hair's crazy enough for two people! Okay he can go. JOEY: Thanks Yug. Man, your hair really is crazy. What the heck's your secret? YUGI: L'Oréal. Because I'm worth it. TÉA: Come on, Tristan! Let's sneak on board like Solid Snake! TRISTAN: Don't our parents even care that we're missing? MAI: Is that a Lightforce Sword in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? JOEY: Check it out, Yug. It's a pair of giant breasts attached to a woman. MAI: The name's Mai Valentine. It's not a very subtle pun, but then again, nothing about me is very subtle. JOEY: Boooobiiiiies. MAI: I'll crush you when we get to the island. JOEY: With your boobies, right? TRISTAN: What's wrong, Téa? TÉA: I need to use the bathroom, but the lady who dubs me won't admit it. TRISTAN: In another few hours the sun will rise! TÉA: What the f*ck does that mean?! Text appears on screen: (seriously, he actually says that... wtf?) TÉA: Hey, isn't that Bakura? TRISTAN: Bakura? The limey kid from school? TÉA: What's he doing here? TRISTAN: Who cares? He's not even a main character! Rex's room on the boat REX: Woah! Uh-huh-huh.. Come to Raptor. MAI: Tell you what, Rex, if I win this duel, I get to use your room. But if you win, then I'll give you a kiss! REX: Cool. Then I, like, won't be a virgin anymore. On deck WEEVIL: Heh-heh, hey Yugi, heh-heh, like, give me your cards or something. Heh-heh. YUGI: Well, you're clearly evil, but I see no reason not to trust you. WEEVIL: Say goodbye to Exodia! (throws Exodia overboard) Heh-heh-heh-heh, yeah, heh-heh that was cool, heh-heh-heh (leaves) YUGI: Holy cow, I never even saw that coming! JOEY: I'll save 'em! (dives after the cards) The theme from Titanic plays JOEY: Must.. risk.. life.. for cards! Yugi dives in after him to save him Music stops TRISTAN: (drops a ladder down to them) Hey! Get a room you two! Boat hallway MAI: Get out, loser! (Chucks Rex into the hall) REX: Uh.. did I just score? On deck TÉA: Sorry you almost drowned, guys. TRISTAN: If it's any consolation, the sun will be up in a few hours! JOEY: Man, I can't believe I didn't save your cards! Compared to this, my sister's imminent blindness seems like a minor inconvenience! YUGI: Your sister? How come you never mentioned that sub-plot before? JOEY: My parents got divorced a long time ago, because I tried teaching her how to drive. Flashback SERENITY: (in a car) Joey! Stop this crazy thing! JOEY: Apply the handbrake, ya dumb broad! End flashback TRISTAN (thinking): If she's going blind, I might actually have a chance with her! Morning YUGI: We'll both do our best, Joey! You for your sister, and me for my Grandpa. TÉA: I'm not even sure why I bothered coming! TRISTAN: Hey, look! I was right about the sun! End Stinger: ADIMRAL ACKBAR: It's a TRAP! (Trap Hole appears on screen) 1x03